links for 2009-07-26

• The Toby Show: Set a Time Limit on Tantrums
  It's amazing how timers can be part of the solution to so many power struggles. I love this hack because it's respectful of a kid's feelings without condoning fit-throwing.

Comments

[mommainthefog]

Thanks for highlighting this hack. My baby is still too young for this yet but oooh mamma, I'm getting ready! At nine months, I'm already starting to see the beginnings of those "big emotions." I like that this strategy allows the child to have some space to experience his/her real feelings before having to reel them in. After all, I think the goal here is not to force kids to submerge negative feelings but to help them learn how to face and cope with anger, disappointment, frustration, etc.

[carrie]

Thank you for this. It's the exact kind of advice I needed for dealing with those completely irrational meltdown moments. I too like the idea of acknowledging her frustration and anger and the need to let it out. This will give both of us the appropriate way to do it. We've already taught her to tell us she needs a minute when she is feeling overwhelmed. This will work well (I hope!) for the moments when she is beyond overwhelmed.

[12 Weeks Pregnant]

This is a great idea, where did you find the coloured hourglass?

[the milliner]

OK. You just summed up the comment I left on that post in one sentence! Um, yeah, that's what I meant! :)

[Jonah Lisa]

Thanks Asha. It's still working really well for us.

I got the small triple sand timer with colored sand from Amazon. There's a link to it in the original post.

I'm sure any timer would work but I really do think part of the lure for my son is the eye-candy of that cool sand timer.

[Monique]

This works quite well but I'd like to throw in a plug for baby sign-language. I can't recall a single tantrum because Julia was able to "talk" to me. I think the frustration of not being understood is the root of these things. When she doesn't get her way these days and gets an attitude, I'll use this technique and she straightens herself right out.
(She just turned 3)