For siblings, buy cheapie toys of the same color
From Angeline of Mom Style News:
Whenever my kids receive a cheap toy (plastic shovel, $2 hockey stick and ball, funny glasses) they always fight over who gets which color. Also, when one child wants to play with his, but we can only find his brother's, we spend far too long trying to find the one that is the right color -- even though both are exactly the same except for the color, the wrong one won't do! I have finally gotten smart and started buying the exact same color for each kid. What a time and sanity saver!
Related: Choice Day helps reduce bickering between competitive siblings
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I've found the opposite works for my kids (I have 2.5-year-old twin girls). I have to get two of the same toy, but they fight over them less if they are different colors. They get to pick their color, and then they seem to know/remember who "owns" each color.
Posted by: cindy | 17 June 2008 at 06:49 AM
If you do get different colors, which does seem to work better in my experience, make it THE color for that child. That way there's no doubt whose it is. It's easy to remember: this one is green, this one gets yellow, etc... We do this for my goddaughters and they will actually switch toys if they aren't the right color. They also got to pick their color when we started this so it is their favorite color to begin with.
Posted by: Jennifer | 17 June 2008 at 07:36 AM
My 6yr old goes all CSI on us when it comes to toys. Hand her a toy, when you know for a fact that another identical toy is somewhere in the house, and she'll tell you "This one is Elizabeth's. See that scratch? Mine did not have that."
Although I'm pretty sure at times her definition of "mine" really means "I know where this one is and I don't know where the other one is, thus this one is mine."
Posted by: Duane | 17 June 2008 at 08:06 AM
Oh yes, identical anything is a minefield. Sooner or later (sooner, in most cases of cheapie toys) one will get lost or broken: who owns the one which survives? My girls have "their" colours, and whenever possible at least one of any pair of matching items will be in an identifiable colour, or if not, Sharpie'd with the owner's initial. They can sort it out themselves.
Posted by: Heather Patey | 17 June 2008 at 09:20 AM
What's wrong with just letting them learn to work it out and share? Sure, it may be more work, but it will be more beneficial in the long run.
Posted by: Annette | 17 June 2008 at 04:48 PM
As the mother of triplet girls, my girls have had 'assigned' colors since the day they got out of the NICU. They know that the blue cup is Sarah's, the red bag is Hannah's or the green shovel is Emma's. No fighting (at least about that!)
Posted by: Laura | 18 June 2008 at 04:54 AM
I have the same problem with my kids they like the same toys.
Posted by: Santa Radar | 18 June 2008 at 07:41 AM
My bet - sharpie. If it is a special toy with a special meaning, sharpies all the way. They learn their initials fast that way, too. :)
We do have some color matched items, and some color different items. For some things I'll spend time looking for the color difference, and for others, I won't. Mixed model, I guess.
And I also definitely agree there are some things they have to work out, and having unmarked toys is one of those areas where you can make the situation work to develop skills they'll need later anyway. We've got plenty of conflicts over the unmarked toys, but they work them out with a little boost on the problem-solving strategies. Between the three approaches, they get a little 'this is mine but it is just like yours' a little 'this is mine because it isn't just like yours' and a little 'who the heck does this belong to? I want it to be MINE! Wait, is it yours? How do we know? How do we decide how to use it? ARGH. Wait, hmmm. I have an idea...' (I can't tell you how much I love hearing them say, 'wait, I have an idea!' because that's always the beginning of some serious problem-solving practice.)
Posted by: hedra | 20 June 2008 at 09:12 AM
I have to do the opposite as well. With five kids it's just easier if somethings have the owners signature colors. My mom does the same thing when she gets them presents- five notebooks, folders, pads of paper in five different colors.
Posted by: Heather | 20 June 2008 at 01:45 PM
An add on to Hedra's comment about Sharpies. The rubbing from sand tends to rub-off the marker in short time.
http://leesvoice.blogspot.com/2008/06/mlf-sand-toys-marker-vs-mabels-labels.html
Posted by: Lee | 22 June 2008 at 01:34 PM