Pets as social skills "teachers"

I've got so much to say about this hack (sent in anonymously), but I'll save my comments till after you've read it:

I'm a single (widowed) mom to one daughter. We live in a very rural area so my daughter's interaction with other children was very limited until she attended Head Start. It also limited opportunities for her to regularly practice certain social skills such as saying thank you, pardon me, I'm sorry... I found my solution in our two 100+ pound dogs who have the run of the house and yard. With such big dogs there's plenty of bumping into and stepping over, and occasionally a human or canine toe gets stepped on -- a perfect opportunity to practice our social skills. And it instilled that we have a responsibility to respect and care for animals.

Some people may question my method, but you can be sure, if my daughter bumps into you, she will say "excuse me."

Social skills is a huge topic around our house. I happen to have two children who are sitting on (practically) opposite sides of the social spectrum. One innately understands (or at least perceives) the inner workings of the people around us, and one...doesn't. So I look for opportunities EVERYWHERE to teach social skills. Pets are wonderful first teachers, because their body language is usually so straightforward and easy to translate.

Related:
Helping a toddler who's afraid of dogs
Preparing your dog for a new baby

Comments

[Katy]

We have a rabbit who has free rein of the house. All day we are saying "excuse me" as we almost step on him underfoot!

[Jo]

For years I have been saying Beep Beep to the dog to get her to move out of the way. Now my 22 month old says Beep Beep if anyone is in her way. So now having to "retrain" her in the slightly more socially acceptable "Excuse Me Please". Really tough not to laugh when she says Beep Beep Mummy though! A good lesson in watch what you say - it will be repeated!!

[WOW! Women's World]

That made me laugh. We do the same thing with our black lab and two cats, who are constantly underfoot no matter where we are in the house. I wish my children would be as polite to each other as they are to their animals.

Julie for WOW!

[Rebecca]

Here is a good testimony that you all are right on. We have always stressed good manners at our house, including with our very large golden retriever, Toby. Everyone says, "Excuse Me, Toby" and even "Please" to the dog. It has gone so far that my daughter, Tiandra is teaching the dog to say please. Once when we had a friend who brought a friend over the friend's friend wanted Toby to move and he said, "Get out of the way you dumb dog!" My children were mortified! They were so upset that someone would talk even to the dog like that. My kids are eight and eleven. From the very beginning, we have stressed AND MODELED the manners. Clearly it sinks in and becomes important to them. Good job to those of you who realize that it is still important to teach good manners. I used to be a first grade teacher and I always told the kids that EVERYONE has manners. Some people have good ones and others do not. I challenged them to fall into the first category.

[hedra]

Pets are also good for teaching general respect, personal space, and empathy. One of our first family lessons on empathy is that you don't get to decide if the cat likes how you are treating her. SHE is the only one who knows and gets to choose if she likes being petted flat. No matter how much you want her to like it, she'll sure let you know that she doesn't if she doesn't, and nothing you say can change that! (Supervised, of course.)

[Lisa C]

Our family is totally on the same page with the doggie manners. Our son does not have siblings, other than his two huge harry sisters (dogs). When he first started talking I realized he was repeating what he had heard me say to the dogs: "MOVE Sophie!" So when he said "MOVE Mommy" I knew we had a teaching opportunity on our hands. We definitely model please, thank you, and excuse me with our son and our dogs. He is now the most polite 2 year old on the block!