Gift registries simplify birthday present paralysis

As my kids get older, the number of birthday party invitations seems to be increasing exponentially. I'll save my birthday party rant for later (hint: Birthdays Without Pressure), and for now, will simply complain about the discomfort of choosing presents for kids I hardly know. Waaah!

Fate's straightforward hack is a two-fer: it takes the pain out of wandering the toy aisles, and you can feel more confident putting the invitee in charge of choosing the present:

Maintain a gift registry for your child. Toys R' Us has an in-store registry, but it's not connected to an online registry. Amazon has an online registry, but you lose the kid shopping fun factor [some would call it fear factor. -- Ed.]. Target has both and they are connected (I believe). I've maintained a registry since my daughter was 2 years old and we update it just before her birthday (in Nov) just in time for her birthday AND the holidays. If your child's bday falls more than four months away from the holidays I would recommend updating it twice a year.

Tags: Birthdays, Parenting

Comments

[Jack]

If you don't want to tie your registry to a single store, try kaboodle.com.

[Deirdre]

My kids really like picking out gifts for their friends, and I get the feeling it's a treat for their friends to pick out gifts for my kids, so I'm not a big fan of gift registries for friends, at least in my family.

However, every year we do gift registries at Amazon and now American Girl, too, for family gifts. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles seem to really appreciate the list. They have said it's a really nice way to get an idea of what my kids are interested in now, and even if they don't use the registries, at least they get ideas. We love it because then we only get things that really get played with.

[katherine]

I'm taking a different approach - to have NO gifts and instead encourage the guests to bring a stuffed animal or dvd or toy for us to donate to a favorite charity.

Anyone have any success with this approach?

[Liz]

I've also heard of people doing an exchange- like every kid brings a book to the party, and then everyone goes home with a different book. No need for goodie bags that way either. I've never actually been to a party like this, yet.

For my husband's birthday, we are having a hat exchange. We are encouraging people to be creative and make something, but anything goes. I'm sure there are many other items you could have fun exchanging.

[STL Mom]

We've been invited to three birthday parties in the last two months whose invitation asked us to bring donations for a charity instead of gifts. I think it's a great idea, but I'm having no luck so far in talking my 6-year-old into doing it for her own birthday. I usually have a mental list of things she likes, so if people call before her birthday I can give them some general ideas, i.e. "anything related to mermaids or ancient Egypt."
She also went to a birthday party where we were asked to bring a "small gift to exchange." Apparently some people's idea of a small gift is different than mine - we brought a jigsaw puzzle that my daughter picked out, and went home with a game that I know costs $20. I felt a little bad for the kid who got the puzzle! So if you do a gift exchange, your guests might appreciate some guidance about costs (i.e. bring a gift under $10).
I haven't had a birthday party for myself in years, but the book exchange idea puts me in a party mood! Except, of course, that I would want to keep ALL the books myself and would probably cry like a toddler when other people walked away with them...

[Amy :)]

My family all used http://www.whattogive.com for Christmas this year, and we're keeping our lists updated all the time now. You can link to other registries (like Amazon), link to specific items you find online, or just type in descriptions. I do like the trend of donating gifts to charity at parties though, and I hope it keeps growing as my son gets older.

[Jen]

We do the same kind of thing using http://www.stylehive.com - it's meant for much trendier stuff than kid presents, but it works great. We get a flash badge we can stick on our website, so it's easy for the grandparents and relatives to find it. We also include items for ourselves on there - anyone can click on the badge and be taken to separate wishlists for me, my husband, and my daughter.

I just keep it updated every few weeks (if I know we've bought or received something on the list). Who knows, maybe my husband will actually think to check it before Valentines' Day?!?

[Ashley]

I was always a little frightened to do a registry simply because I don't want people to feel obligated to buy a present. Perhaps I'll create one for my boy and if people ask I can what to get then I can point them in that direction.

[Connie]

We've been using http://www.whattogive.com/ for a couple of years now. We've got lists for both kids and me and hubby.

Its great to be able to have a bit more control over what the kids get - i.e. less toy guns more craft kits.

We went for that particular site because it didn't have any ads - which is the last thing we wanted when the kids were putting together a wish list!

[kittenpie]

In Canada, Indigo.ca - an online bookstore - now carries toys, too, and has a wish list feature that I use for books and toys for my daughter and I.

Meanwhile, my tricks for gifts are twofold - one, I usually have a few things in the closet for different age ranges (puzzles, books, matching games, small babysafe stuffies, and so on). Two, I have a pattern. I nearly always give a book (I'm a librarian) and a small gift related to the title. (ie. Dennis Lee's Bubblegum Delicious plus a spillproof bubble blower, in one recent gift bag). although as my daughter gets older, I have let her tell me what KIND of gift a friend might like the last couple of times.