Valentine's Day marching orders

Forget the candy and the jewelry. For Valentine's Day, give your partner the gift of time. Pure, unadulterated time. Send her/him (whoever's the primary caretaker of the kids) to a cafe for a couple hours with a book and ten bucks for a snack. Schedule a massage. Pass along the movie listings and scoot him/her out the door.

Meanwhile, you and the kids get to have a cozy day at home, or an outing of your own. The only catch: make sure the house is tidy when your partner returns, dinner (home-cooked or takeout) is on the table, maybe a few candles, and you have the countenance of a happy parent, not a martyr.

There's nothing more attractive than a partner who truly understands what the other one needs, and then gives it freely, with love.

More: Marriage and relationship hacks

Comments

[kittenpie]

This is a good piece of advice - but I do wonder where the romance is in this?
I'm hoping I can manage to get a few minutes alone with mine once baby goes to bed, and to that end bought a couple of nice CDs to relax to.
A night out without the kids would be prime for most moms, too - maybe not even necessarily on the day, but the day before or after, when it is not so busy?

[lisa]

As a brand-new mother, I think this is a *fantastic* gift. Getting out of the house guiltlessly--with no errands to run? Returning home to a clean house? You better believe my husband will get rewarded when I return home. And there's the romance part. :)

[Asha Dornfest]

Allow me to be blunt. What I've outlined in this post is likely the most effective foreplay for many busy, tired moms. A friend recently told me that her partner's empathy and understanding gets her in the mood faster than any mechanics or expectations.

I know, kittenpie, you weren't necessarily talking about sex in your comment. Romance is *so* important, especially for couples with kids. I see this as the perfect prelude to a romantic evening after the kids are asleep. Maybe just drinking a little wine while listening to music, maybe more, but, either way, an opportunity to remember that parents are also lovers.

[Twinmama]

You...are...so...RIGHT ON, Ed. 2 hours to myself now = a really good time for *you* later.

[Alexis Ahrens]

Absolutely!!! This is so spot on, Asha! The only problem is that men wouldn't understand why this would be so cool for us. Even if I forward this to the DH, he's likely to think, "Nah, I'm sure she'd rather have chocolate."